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Archive for the ‘Cancer’ Category

Insurance companies were created to make our lives miserable.  This is something of which I am convinced.

I should amend that statement.  For-profit insurance companies were created to make regular folks miserable.

What has made me say this now?  DH decided to appeal a denial of 500 USD.  The first paperwork we saw had only one incident that came under the denial.  He appealed.  The denial came back with three incidences of something different than what we appealed originally.

What is being denied?  Something that had been previously covered when submitted.  The insurance company in question is notorious for this sort of behavior.  While I understood why DH wanted to appeal, I felt that eating the 500 USD would be the wiser course of action due to the insurance company’s reputation.  (He, rightly, felt they should fulfill their contract.  Me?  I’ve dealt with this sort of absurdity with my allergy situation since I was 18, I knew they would go back and find further stuff to deny.  500 USD was, in my mind, a pittance to what it could have been.  Perhaps I have already been defeated by the insurance monster?)

So, I now have a very irritated husband who is dealing with the insurer and his workplace representatives while he is debating (with himself) whether going further with this appeal may lead to them denying even more. 

As a note, yes, I am behind in my postings.  Everyone I know decided to be born in July or August.  As soon as I attend one birthday, I have another to deal with.  And none of the birthday people involved are able to answer the question, “What do you want for your birthday?”  They all hem and haw – but will be disappointed if they don’t get something that they actually want! 

Monday, June 14, 2010 I got my port out. The gynecological oncologist and the hematologist / oncologist said ok! I made the appointment to remove it fast.

Removing a port is an in-office procedure. They give you a numbing agent, make a cut, and pull it out (with care). Then they stitch you up. I had a rather common reaction while they were pulling the port out – I almost fainted. I got to sit still for 10 minutes or so afterwords to make sure I didn’t pass out walking out.

I guess the screams of pain when they gave me the local had already scared too many waiting patients. I have really sensitive skin.

I bet some of you are wondering what my CA-125 was? It was a completely normal and remission fulfilling 10!

Of course, my pekinese is irritated at me for not picking him up while that wound heals.

Now the irritating news.

It seems I have a rather common tongue fungal infection that the periodontist found. He sees it in cancer survivors all the time. I have one problem. Even though Majic Mouthrinse is compounded the suspension solution used uses benzyl alcohol (allergic) and two corn derivatives: sorbitol and glycerin. I tried to tell the periodontist this while I was there, but he said it was compounded. Now I have to figure out what to do to treat this problem.

Today is hard for women who did not choose childlessness. It makes us think of all the ways in which society sees us as less than those who have had children.

I do not think this is a conscious thing. I think it is something written into society.

You would think that those servicing communities where the vast majority of women in the community don’t have children due to cancer of the reproductive organs would be more sensitive about this. Remember, simply being unable to have children radically increases the risk of ovarian cancer. How disturbing it was to go to the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance home page and found Tell us how you you want to honor a mother . . .

Ovarian cancer. Yes, some women are lucky enough to have had families. Most are not.

I decided to visit the other major charity for ovarian cancer, National Ovarian Cancer Coalition, and they had many links about mothers and motherhood. It seemed especially cruel.

I stopped here. I was afraid of looking for information about uterine cancer at this point. I already knew that all of the cancer societies use motherhood – even for those for whom it is out of reach – to pull at the public’s heart strings. Do they not realize that that sends a message of non-mothers not being as important?

This goes through everything. After my surgery last year my husband and I poured out our pain around not having children to a nurse practitioner who then immediately started in about women with small children. It was as if she hadn’t hear a word we said.

The support boards for cancer have many more mothers writing then childless. I really believe it is because the mothers fill the boards with how their children make everything worthwhile. Does this mean that those without children don’t have anything to live for? To strive for? That is a message that can be heard if you read it at the wrong time – in the wrong state of mind.

I find that certain kinds of pain can be understood by those who have also experienced it. There is a story I’m not sure I told from last year. The first ultrasound tech I saw told me how she and her husband had been pursuing a child. It led to an abdominal pregnancy and total hysterectomy. A failed adoption followed. I know now she was trying to tell me that I wasn’t alone even though many would make me feel that way.

In how many ways does society unconsciously make the childless feel like less?